Step 1: Saying it out loud...

Thinking about a decision as important as mine (ie: my World Tour) is one thing...Saying it out loud to people you love, care about, and work with is another one...And for me, telling Zegut about my plans for the future was the hardest thing to do! I had to find the right time, the right place, the right words...And it started to burn my mouth, too...So I had to do it, no matter what!

I first told Tom at dinner...One step at a time...I started getting emotionnal and everything...Eyes looking like a fish bowl..."Tom, I won't be here next year...I'm leaving, gonna tour the world..." The look on his face...A look I'd better get used to, I guess...As I may have to experience it many times as I will tell people about my big project.

But as I said it, I actually heard myself saying "I'm gonna tour the world"....It hit me! Right then and there! I am going to do it! My life is in my hands, and I'm going to live out of a backpack for God knows how many months in a near future...

Telling Tom was hard, but still easier than telling Chef (Zegut). This man has been my mentor for the past 6 years. I love him and respect him like my own father. He never let me down, not once. A friend, a father, a mentor, a teacher... I have to say that my biggest fear, in those past 6 years, was to let him down, to lose his trust, to betray him, one way or another, to disappoint him...
And for the first time, I was putting myself first...It made me so nervous to think about what he would say...Even though I knew deep inside that he would support me...But still....I'm going to turn 30, he is going to be 54...He's had an amazing career, he's lived his dream...Now it is my turn, I guess.
I didn't want to tell him in the car, or in the studio, or in our office...Tom had the great idea to ask us if we wanted to go for a drink at the Coste, after the show... It was now or never! So we did, ordered our drinks, talking about everything and anything...And after a while, as I couldn't bring myself to talk about all this, Tom rescued me, once again, and simply asked me if there was something I wanted to talk about, as I looked concerned...And there it was...I told him, tried to explain how I felt (which was difficult because I started crying and couldn't stop) about all this...about leaving him, the team, etc.

And once again, he found the right words. Words I will never forget..."Nobody will take your place. Of course I'm sad, but I'm happy for you. I love you and admire you. I support you 100% and I will always be here for you"... Even writing those words now brings tears to my eyes...

We talked about it for a while, not too much...And it was time to go home, go to bed...I felt numb, and I still do, a little...I now have to go to the next step: what is going to happen, job-wise...?
And also: WHERE DO I START???

I can now feel free to think about my trip, since I am going to do it...

WORLD, WATCH OUT, HERE I COME!